It's A Bag Of Suck Out There

Coinbase Stonk Sink

Whelp, it’s looking kind of ugly for COIN. How ugly? This ugly:

I made a post about Coinbase’s performance on Tradingview back in December 22, talking about the $118 level specifically - which is where traders are attempting to find support.

From an Ichimoku perspective on the daily chart, the $112 to $115 value areas will be critical to hold. Below that is even uglier ugliness of uglynessesses.

Suck It Cardano Haterz

Cardano has recently outperformed Polkadot and its sister-project Kusama in terms of development activity, claiming the top spot as the most actively developed blockchain. 🧱

Development activity is measured by public GitHub repositories linked to a project, with an increase indicating more features being shipped out on the network. Conversely, a decrease suggests a reduction in code commits by developers. ☢️

Bitcoin Needs DeFi

Bitcoin was initially launched over 15 years ago with Satoshi's white paper and has become a significant store of value, even adopted as legal currency by some nations. 💸

However, its involvement in the DeFi sector, worth around $50 billion, remains minimal, missing out on vast liquidity opportunities. The Taproot upgrade introduced a year ago, has started to bridge this gap, enabling features like true DeFi services and NFTs, including Ordinals, on the Bitcoin blockchain.

Recent technological advancements have expanded Bitcoin's potential in DeFi, allowing for the effective deployment of smart contracts on its network. This development is crucial as institutional adoption of cryptocurrencies, especially with the recent approval of Bitcoin ETFs, is expected to increase demand for Bitcoin-based financial products.

But whether Bitcoin’s network can adapt to accommodate services like DeFi without a hard fork remains to be seen. 🍴

Fuck This Guy

One of the biggest butt burglars in crypto, Su Zhu, the co-founder of the now-defunct hedge fund 3AC, has been sharing his rather peculiar take on his recent 3-month stint in a Singaporean prison. 🖕

After 3AC's collapse began crypto winter, Zhu, along with his fellow asshole pirate Kyle Davies, went from making excuses on X to launching new ventures like OPNX and 3AC Ventures.

While Davies has managed to dodge any time behind bars, Zhu found himself serving a sentence, which he now describes in a rather rosy light, claiming it was more of a spiritual retreat than punishment.

Zhu waxed lyrical about his jail time, framing it as an opportunity to “reconnect with your ancestors” due to the absence of the internet, which he claims brought him a “magical feeling.”

But he shouldn’t get too comfortable. The US is out to get bad actors, and the US’s arms go around the globe. Time for this POS to get his due. 🖕

Shots Of The Day

🔔 Meta's Cryptocurrency Conundrum Catches Batshit Crazy Congresswoman's Eye: Congresswoman Maxine “It’s Ok If I Call For Violence” Waters is digging into Meta's digital asset dealings, questioning Zuckerberg and Olivan about their blockchain ambitions. Meta's recent trademark filings hint at a crypto pivot, but Waters wants the lowdown on their stablecoin research and web3 plans. Amidst skepticism, Meta's balance between social networking and digital currency management remains a tightrope walk.

📰 Binance Battles SEC in Courtroom Showdown: Binance, facing SEC's fraud accusations, is pushing back hard in court. Their latest legal maneuver? Trying to get the lawsuit tossed by Judge Amy Berman Jackson. This legal tango, coming after a $4.3 billion settlement and Changpeng Zhao's departure, highlights the SEC's aggressive stance on crypto regulation.

💸 Gamee Token Takes a Nosedive After Exploit: Gamee's GMEE token got rocked by an exploit, with 600 million tokens hijacked and liquidated. The price plummeted over 60%, causing chaos in the crypto market. The team's rapid response and liaison with law enforcement mark a frantic effort to steady the ship.

🛒 FINRA Flags Crypto Communications for Misleading Claims: FINRA's latest report rings alarm bells: 70% of crypto-related communications are playing fast and loose with the truth. Their survey uncovered rampant violations in how crypto assets are pitched to the public. This watchdog's bark reveals a landscape rife with exaggeration and misinformation in the crypto world.